Pauline Tesler is a a pioneer in interdisciplinary collaborative legal practice. She is founding director of the Integrative Law Institute, author of Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution Without Litigation. Her workshops and writings catalyzed an international movement called "Collaborative Law" that is changing the face of family law in 28 nations. In this dialogue we talk about the role of empathy in transforming law into a healing and collaborative profession.
"We believe that law can be a healing profession, and that lawyers can be peacemakers. At the Integrative Law Institute, our mission is to bring insights and tools to lawyers so that they have what they need to return the practice of law to this original purpose: helping people reach resolution that heals the conflict."
Michelle Stowe is a restorative practitioner, trainer and consultant. She is passionate about creating well-being and happiness in the workplace; and particularly interested in re-culturing schools and cultivating a restorative paradigm shift that honours community and connection.
Michelle also works with schools, communities and organisations that need support in resolving conflict between people. She is particularly interested in supporting others to turn towards and see themselves in one another in times of conflict. Being involved in this work allows her to feel that the life she is living is the same as the life that wants to live in her. Michelle Stowe is a restorative practitioner, trainer and consultant.
She is passionate about creating well-being and happiness in the workplace; and particularly interested in re-culturing schools and cultivating a restorative paradigm shift that honours community and connection.
Axon has announced a partnership with the Chicago Police Department to pilot its virtual reality (VR) empathy-based training. The Chicago PD is the first agency to incorporate Axon's immersive experience into its current crisis intervention training curriculum. Chicago PD is also the first agency to debut Axon's new autism empathy training VR scenario.
Axon's VR training is offered through Axon Academy, a network of online and in-person training for law enforcement. The VR training program is designed to better equip officers with the tools to de-escalate situations involving people suffering from mental health issues, crises, or psychotic episodes.
What are the criticisms of restorative justice in the school context?
This is an important question for any school or school district considering developing a systemic restorative response to conflicts and rule violations. Below I list (and respond to) some of the criticisms I have heard the most over the past few years. In the case of the last four, these are concerns I myself have, as someone who supports schools in developing restorative systems.
Conflict is a natural part of life, like eating and sleeping. We have designated places for eating and sleeping. Why don’t have a dedicated places for conflict?
Restorative Circles is a community dialogue process developed by Dominic Barter and associates in the slums of Brazil. More on Restorative Circles.
Learning objectives
Be able to describe the difference between restorative and punitive approaches.
Discover different ways of being with, or even moving towards conflict.
Gain an overview of the Restorative Circles process. Practise the skills you need to ‘host’ a pre-circle, main circle and post-circle.
Learn what agreements you need in place, in order to respond effectively to conflict, when it arise
Letters: Israeli ambassador Mark Regev, Sebastian Monblat, Hilary and Steven Rose, Naomi Wayne, Karl Sabbagh and Laurel Farrington respond to a Guardian editorial and an article by Simon Baron-Cohen
A day prior to your editorial, you published Simon Baron-Cohen’s piece that identified empathy between Israelis and Palestinians as “a necessary step” for peace. Given that the sentiment of your editorial expresses no empathy whatsoever for Israel’s very real security concerns, and will only stoke Palestinian intransigence, may I humbly suggest taking that advice? Mark Regev Ambassador of Israel to the UK
Again, empathy is good; justice is better. And justice will not automatically arise from empathy and it should be implemented in law and public policy even where no empathy exists—for the disadvantaged. Exactly what justice is is another question. My only argument here is that justice is a transcendental ideal rooted in ultimate reality which is both being and goodness. Call it/him/her/them God or not. (Plato did but apparently did not believe in a supreme personal being.)
Empathy is individual, ephemeral, subjective, fickle. Justice is not. It is real even though it is never fully captured or actualized perfectly in law or public policy. It is what “hovers” over all law and public policy (and treatment of individuals by others) “calling” them to higher, better and purer actualizations of itself. (I realize I’m anthropomorphizing “justice” here, but it’s a figure of speech unless there is a supreme personal being who embodies justice and to whom we are accountable.)
Enter empathy. That is, achieving the insight to understand why the other one feels wronged; stepping into the other’s reasoning; creating a bridge on which to move.
This is hard for adults to do in the throes of anger and resentment. It’s impossible for young children in their disputes because they lack the maturity and experience to cultivate empathy. (Parents can cultivate empathy; perhaps give a child responsibility for feeding and walking a pet to build concern for another’s needs.)...
So, how should the couple disputing play-offs versus family obligation proceed?
Let go of whois right. That’s because both are. Their feelings are truthful.
Start moving across the empathy bridge by accepting that truth. He feels he deserves to do what he wants on Sunday plus he remembers watching the games with his father every Sunday plus seeing the play-offs is a matter of urgency—no matter to her that all that running around after a ball is ridiculous. She feels guilt from a history of rebelling against her parents plus she rarely visits them in Florida while her sister does it routinely plus her mother loves making pot roast for family which she calls her signature dish—no matter to him she should grow up already.
Now that they are traversing the empathy bridge they make an honest effort at listening; past truths they never knew about may even emerge to change an argument to enlightenment....
Judith Peck is professor emerita of art, Ramapo College of New Jersey in Mahwah.
With her proximity to Hollywood, Ackerman is well situated to become the Gloria Allred of restorative justice. And, if its most vaunted ideals are to be believed, Hollywood should be an ideal platform to model a practice based on storytelling and deep listening.
When filmmakers talk about their craft, they often say the things they prize most highly as artists are authenticity, empathy and narrative truth. Now is the time to marshal those values in service to real, off-screen catharsis.
Michelle Stowe is a restorative practitioner, trainer and consultant. She is passionate about creating well-being and happiness in the workplace; and particularly interested in re-culturing schools and cultivating a restorative paradigm shift that honours community and connection.
Michelle also works with schools, communities and organisations that need support in resolving conflict between people. She is particularly interested in supporting others to turn towards and see themselves in one another in times of conflict. Being involved in this work allows her to feel that the life she is living is the same as the life that wants to live in her. Michelle Stowe is a restorative practitioner, trainer and consultant. She is passionate about creating well-being and happiness in the workplace; and particularly interested in re-culturing schools and cultivating a restorative paradigm shift that honours community and connection.
Michelle also works with schools, communities and organisations that need support in resolving conflict between people. She is particularly interested in supporting others to turn towards and see themselves in one another in times of conflict. Being involved in this work allows her to feel that the life she is living is the same as the life that wants to live in her. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
Before we can change our system for the better, we have to understand its shortcomings. As a result, on this site you will see postings about the many injustices and inequities within our criminal justice system. In particular, there will be postings on police abuse of power as well as institutional injustices. You will find articles that suggest alternatives and explore other, usually collaborative, systems of conflict resolution.
You will find articles that suggest alternatives and explore other, usually collaborative, systems of conflict resolution. You will also find exposés on the pros of cons of our current system as well as those of an empathy-based and collaborative system.
With empathy as our guide, we will explore ideas and ways to progress toward a justice system
De-escalation training is not new nor innovative. The philosophy behind the training is that officers need to take every opportunity to slow down a situation when possible.
Which begs the question of just what is de-escalation. And as with many things, the definition depends on who you ask. One writer recently defined it as: "The art of defusing a tense situation with a word or gesture instead of being confrontational or reaching for a weapon." Obviously that writer got the definition from someone who believes in magic.
Veteran street officers and trainers would tell you de-escalation is the result of a combination of communication, empathy, instinct, and sound officer safety tactics. And its goal is to help the officer achieve a good outcome where neither the officer nor the subject is injured. They would stress that not every subject is willing to play along and officers have to be ready to use force, even deadly force, if necessary.
We will coach Congressmembers in empathy-based strategy to mediate powerful solutions to political stalemate and discord. Through networking & innovative outreach approaches like personalized briefings & role-play demos, we will build relationships with Congressmembers where (in small groups/one-on-one) they revise political strategy, relationships, & communication by identifying the core shared human needs UNDERLYING parties' positions/actions, & facilitating solutions that work for EVERYONE.
Doug Noll has been in professional practice for over 40 years. For the past 20 years, he has dedicated himself to understanding the emotional and biological origins of human conflict. With this knowledge, he has developed a set of empathic listening skills that "work the first time, every time". He is author of, De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less Paperback.
Doug says:
"Empathic leadership development is essential for teachers, educators, administrators, and school board members. Without the ability to connect with students and parents quickly and effectively, conflict escalates. Empathic leadership is a skill comprised of three elements:
The ability to ignore the words, focus on emotions, and reflect those emotions back
The ability to problem-solve specific issues once calm is restored
The ability to create a learning environment that is emotionally safe
This skills must be learned, practiced and honed to be mastered. Research shows that learning empathic leadership skills will not come from a one-off workshop."
5.2. Circles A circle is a versatile restorative practice that can be used proactively, to develop relationships and build community or reactively, to respond to wrongdoing, conflicts and problems. Circles give people an opportunity to speak and listen to one another in an atmosphere of safety, decorum and equality.
The circle process allows people to tell their stories and offer their own perspectives (Pranis, 2005). The circle has a wide variety of purposes: conflict resolution, healing, support, decision making, information exchange and relationship development. Circles offer an alternative to contemporary meeting processes that often rely on hierarchy, win-lose positioning and argument (Roca, Inc., n.d.)
Eliminate old-school punishments and create a community of responsible, productive learners
Are you or your teachers frustrated with carrots and sticks, detention rooms, and suspension--antiquated school discipline practices that simply do not work with the students entering our classrooms today? Our kids have complex needs, and we must empower and embrace them with restorative practices that not only change behaviors but transform students into productive citizens, accountable for their own actions.
Replace traditional school discipline with a proven system, founded on restorative justice In a book that should become your new blueprint for school discipline, teachers, presenters, and school leaders Nathan Maynard and Brad Weinstein demonstrate how to eliminate punishment and build a culture of responsible students and independent learners
In Hack Learning Series Book 22, you learn to:
Reduce repeated negative behaviors
Build student self-regulation and empathy
Enhance communication and collaboration
Identify the true cause of negative behaviors
Use restorative circles to reflect on behaviors and discuss impactful change
Remember Brock Turner, and then the subsequent jihad against Judge Persky for being empathetic to an unacceptable defendant? Or the “slap on the wrist” handed to Paul Manafort, the proxy for Darth Cheeto, which caused whiplash through progressivedom as they were constrained to rationalize why their devotion to mercy for criminal defendants should be turned upside down. The easier solution to these obvious and irreconcilable conflicts is that people felt more empathy toward the victim in the Turner case than Turner. As to Manafort, they just hated him so much that there was no room left for empathy.
Is that what the law should be? If I can beat a case by appealing to empathy, you can bet I will, but appeals to empathy are a two-way street. My experience, Justice Holmes, is that such appeals are not merely inherently inconsistent, but are more likely to bite my client in the butt then serve his cause. More importantly, as a person, they provide me with no guidance as to how to conduct myself, my actions, since I can never be sure that I’ll be the more empathetic soul in the courtroom.
"In the last few years, I’ve been exploring the use of Empathy Circles with some of my organizational clients, with facilitator learning groups, and in communication workshops. I’ve been finding that it is a great introduction and warm-up for Dynamic Facilitation, one of my core practices, as it offers everyone in the room the opportunity to engage in offering listening reflections to one another.
At the same time, I’m totally excited to see that Edwin Rutsch, the creator of Empathy Circles, has been bringing his work into the arena healing political divides. My experience is that this simple-yet-powerful form is actually quite revolutionary, in the best sense of the word, and so I want to delve a bit into what I see as the underlying dynamics. But first, a brief description, followed by a distinction and clarification…"
Empathy is all about imagining other minds, appreciating that different people have different perspectives, and responding to their thoughts and feelings with an appropriate emotion. After a career studying autism and the nature of empathy, I see empathy as one of our most valuable natural resources. It has particular promise as an approach to conflict resolution, one that has advantages over viewing a problem through a chiefly military, economic or legal lens.
We can see this if we look at the Israel-Palestine conflict, where both communities have different views of the same historic period, both claim the same piece of land and both have valid emotional reactions to the conflict that must be acknowledged. I am not an expert in that dispute nor so naive to believe that there is a single, simple solution to it. But I do believe empathy can help.
Now that the film is done, Brownfeld looks forward to the “effect” phase. He says his goal is to find ways the film can help improve police and community relationships.
He is also working to develop training materials in parallel with the film as a tool to help officers explore the role of empathy in police work.
“I am proud of my time as a police officer, and I want to do what I can to contribute to the profession of policing and to help law enforcement in our country be the best version of itself that it can be,” he said.
The corners of the Drama Triangle The Drama Triangle is a concept that defines the three roles people typically take on in high-conflict situations. Contrary to its name, the triangle doesn’t have to involve three people; it simply follows how different personalities affect each other during a conflict:
The Victim – When problems arise, the victim tends to look helplessly inward. They spin a small anxiety (like, say, not answering a boss’s email on the weekend) into an outsized disaster (“I’m definitely getting fired!”). Hello Drama Queen!
The Rescuer – The rescuer is the classic enabler who swoops in to save the day. He or she can be relied upon to always a put out a fire or show up at the last minute. Well-meaning to a fault, this “fixer” behavior can lead to resentment and burnout. Reluctant Confronters by nature, rescuers don’t speak up even when wronged.
The Persecutor – We all know the persecutor. The go-to strategies are often controlling, blaming, and criticizing. In arguments, he or she will put you down and try to shame you into forgiveness. The persecutor’s refrain? “It’s all your fault.”
Place of empathy in mediation is pivotal. As discussed in the above paragraph, it is the mediator who runs the process; it is his responsibility to be an empathetic person. In mediation, concept of empathy is twofold i.e. empathy towards the parties and empathy in the parties inter se. I would like to discuss both these dimensions separately.
Empathy towards the parties is a necessity in mediation. A mediator has to ensure the parties that I understand you pain. Our role to mediate is that of negotiator. We have to build communication with the parties firstly and then between the parties. Mediation is the negotiation between the parties with help of mediator in joint or separate meetings. We can win the confidence of the parties easily if we prove to them that we understand what their pain is and what its quantum is.
Empathy is to be exercised in separate meeting/caucus and never in a joint meeting as during the joint meeting one party may feel that mediator is taking side of the other.
Empathy is poised to become the buzzword of the 21st century– the defining trait of our social and political evolution. Empathy will be to this century what “rights” was to the 20th century and “equality” was to the 19th century.
As a word, a concept, and a goal empathy is omnipresent. From parenting newborns to teaching college students, to training doctors and employees of profit-driven ventures, to effecting radical political and social change, empathy is becoming the prevailing philosophy.
9. What are important issues for the ethics of care in the future? To address the question of why the ethics of care is still embattled (especially in the U.S.) but also now in Europe), to consider the ethics of care in light of new evidence in the human sciences that as humans we are by nature empathic and responsive beings, hard-wired for cooperation.
Rather than asking how do we gain the capacity to care, the questions become how do we come not to care; how do we lose the capacity for empathy and mutual understanding?
It is also crucial to clarify that within a patriarchal framework, the ethics of care is a “feminine” ethic, whereas within a democratic framework it is a human ethic, grounded in core democratic values: the importance of everyone having a voice and being listened to carefully and heard with respect. The premise of equal voice then allows conflicts to be addressed in relationships. Different voices then become integral to the vitality of a democratic society.
Teachers learned more about restorative justice at a conference in Calgary this weekend. More schools are looking toward using restorative justice circles as an alternative to punishments like suspensions and expulsions.
The practice gives each child a voice which creates trusting relationships and fosters empathy, she said.
“It’s about feeling closer to everyone in the classroom because one of the principles of restorative practice is that you are building empathy and compassion for other people. Because when you get to know somebody’s story then you can’t act towards them in a negative manner,” Plamondon said.
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