Self-compassion is a skill. That means if you don’t have much compassion for yourself, especially when you need it most, there’s a lot you can do to erase the self-doubt and self-criticism and bring in the self-love.
* Journal * Practice Self-Supportive Thoughts * Breathe * Expect More Out of Your Self
Through her encounters with eastern spirituality, Neff, an associate professor in human development at the University of Texas–Austin, began to understand that having compassion for oneself is as important as having compassion for others:
"From the Buddhist point of view, you have to care about yourself before you can really care about other people." As Neff defines it, self-compassion has three core components: self-kindness, realizing one's common humanity, and mindfulness. img http://bit.ly/ljnIZb
Wonderful vintage self connection and self empathy exercise guided by Jori Manske, just 8 minutes and 29 seconds separate you from connection with your self.
Participating in an 8-week mindfulness meditation program appears to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress.
Participating in an 8-week mindfulness meditation program appears to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress. In a study that will appear in the January 30 issue of Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, a team led by Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) researchers report the results of their study, the first to document meditation-produced changes over time in the brain’s grey matter.
How do we feel good about ourselves without needing to feel better than others and thus falling into the narcissism/self-loathing trap? One answer is to develop self-compassion.
It has almost become a truism in our culture that we need to have high self-esteem in order to be happy and healthy. Psychologists have conducted thousands of studies touting the benefits of self-esteem.
Teachers are encouraged to give all their students gold stars so that each one can feel proud and special. We are told to think positively of ourselves at all costs, like in Stuart Smalley's book of positive affirmations: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" But as research is now starting to demonstrate, the need to continually evaluate ourselves positively comes at a high price.
The golden rule tells us that we should treat others as we would want them to treat us. Maybe so, but hopefully we won't treat them even half as badly as we treat ourselves.
"You're so lame!"
"What a screw-up!"
"How can you ever show your face in public again!"
Would you talk this way to a friend -- or even to a stranger, for that matter?
CBS News video: Notebook: Self compassion - On Ash Wednesday, Katie Couric discusses spiritual cleansing and self-compassion. Couric comments that once your penance is over, move on and be your own best friend instead of your own worst critic.
On Ash Wednesday, Katie Couric discusses spiritual cleansing and self-compassion. Couric comments that once your penance is over, move on and be your own best friend instead of your own worst critic.
Children of the self-esteem movement — their identities shaped by I Am Special songs and “Princess” t-shirts — have become entitled, confused and self-critical youth and adults, raised to believe they can do anything and frustrated, sometimes devastated, when they can’t, experts say.
The phenomenon seems at odds with the very definition of self-esteem: feeling good about yourself...
A new wave of research on self-compassion — the ability to treat yourself the way you’d treat a friend or a loved one — has been creeping into the mainstream, aiming to rescue people from the depths of narcissism and unreasonable standards they will never meet.
As we gently tap into other people’s suffering, our compassion grows. We can see, understand, and sense what the other is going through without becoming enmeshed. Our hearts can embrace others in their suffering, as well as their joy.
Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. This class will provide realistic tools/practice exercises giving you the ability to be more compassionate not only for others but for Your-Self as well.
Christopher Germer, PhD is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Arlington, Massachusetts, specializing in mindfulness and acceptance-based psychotherapy.
Mindful self-compassion is the foundation of emotional healing—being aware in the present moment when we're struggling with feelings of inadequacy, despair, confusion, and other forms of stress (mindfulness) and responding with kindness and understanding (self-compassion). Mindful self-compassion also means holding difficult emotions—fear, anger, sadness, shame and self-doubt—in loving awareness, leading to greater ease and well-being in our daily lives.
On an airplane, you are asked to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, so that you can help other people. Self-compassion is like that too. If you don't take care of yourself first, you won't be fully equipped to help others.
Is it selfish to have compassion for yourself? On an airplane, you are asked to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, so that you can help other people. Self-compassion is like that too. If you don't take care of yourself first, you won't be fully equipped to help others. img http://bit.ly/ljnIZb
By the end of today, you probably have hugged someone you love, looked lovingly at your kiddo, supported a friend who was on the verge of losing it, smiled at a neighbor, and maybe even lent a hand to a complete stranger.
But have you looked kindly at yourself, said something uplifting and supportive to yourself, or given yourself a break?
TELEVISION STORIES CBS Anchor Katie Couric about self-compassion (1:00 min) Television interview on Channel 7 Good Day Austin morning news show (4:04 min)
PRINT/ONLINE ARTICLES Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges (New York Times) Self-Compassion: Give yourself a break and you may just do better (The Globe and Mail) How self-compassion trumps self-esteem (National Post) Live Healthy (Fitness Magazine) Publishers Weekly Review UT researcher, author says being kind to yourself is a path to happier life Being kind to yourself (Live Science) Self-compassion may matter more than self-esteem (MSNBC)
A new area of psychological research suggests that self-compassion, a measure of how kindly people view themselves, may be the first step toward better health.
Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family? That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.
Self-Love: Your Greatest Guide on the Path to Healthy Weight Best-selling author, Jean Fain, tells us that the secret to sustainable weight loss isn't counting calories or depriving yourself at the dinner table, it's about cultivating awareness and self-acceptance. In her book, The Self-Compassion Diet, this Harvard Medical School--affiliated psychotherapist prescribes a practical program for transforming the way you think and feel about food and your whole self—a shift that, paradoxically, inspires physical change.
In her new book, Self Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, Kristin Neff of Elgin writes that being kinder to oneself is a crucial ingredient to living a happier life.
Neff, who is speaking on self-compassion and signing books Tuesday at 8 p.m. at BookPeople, is a pioneering researcher on the subject. She is an associate professor at the University of Texas in human development and culture and has studied self-compassion for nearly a decade.
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